I'm not very good at Christmas.
I'm talking about the gift-giving facet of Christmas. The whole choreography of giving and receiving, half-hearted "Thank You's" of false gratitude, thoughtless re-gifts, desperate desire to surprise or thrill with just the right selection...it all leaves me emotionally tired and deflated.
I know there's a lot of sincerity out there, even in my own home. But I have a hard time getting over the perfunctory nature of most gift swapping.
What if we were brutally honest about the whole affair?
"Why did you get me a gift?"
"Because I felt obligated. I figured you would get me one."
"Why this gift?"
"It was on sale...last year. Been in the attic for months. Thought you might not loathe it."
"Well, you shouldn't have?"
"I know. Beginning to wish I hadn't."
Gift giving in my own home is pretty non-traditional most years. In fact, I have never been able to wait until Christmas Day to present my wife with her present. Sometimes she gets it as early as November.
Once I know what I want to give her, I buy it. Then I just want her to have it. She's just as bad. I opened my gift from her last night, 8 days early.
We try to do better with our children. So far, its working, but soon enough they will get wise to our "problem". It will only take a few days of pushing, pressing, begging, and we'll likely cave in and start handing stuff out mid-December.
I know where this blog is going...and I don't like it. I'm going to start complaining about materialism and why can't we be more focused on Jesus than gifts, or why can't our gifts be more meaningful, handmade items, or why can't we focus more on the needy instead of accumulating more fodder for April's yard sales, ad infinitum et naseum.
I know this rhetoric by heart. Been preaching it for years. Problem is, I can't see a difference, in myself or others.
And the pendulum swings the other way now.
What if gifts, giving and receiving, really are important? What if this indentured practice is a vital expression of selflessness (even when faked) that we ignore throughout the rest of the year? So by the time Christmas rolls around, we are society in desperate need of something that forces us to think beyond ourselves.
What if my eagerness to lash out about the commercialization of Christmas is really just a mask for the guilt I feel at having to be reminded to be thoughtful and generous to the people around me?
Sure, it would be ideal if we didn't need to be reminded to give, but the reality, we need it badly. And if once-a-year globally enforced compulsory generosity is the only way, then God bless it!
And Merry Christmas.
