Numbers 22 offers one of my favorite laugh-out-loud stories in the Bible, but only in the King James Version. (Yes, I'm a 13 year-old boy and the word "ass" brings involuntary twitches to the corners of my mouth.) So this guy Balaam is a professional "curser". A malediction for hire. And he owns it. Want him to bless the Israelite? If the price is right he will proclaim painless circumcisions and pleasant childbirths for all. Want him the curse the Israelites? Simply cough up the denarii and he will call down plagues upon the sheep and good health upon the swine.
But God doesn't take kindly to His children being cursed for profit, by prophet. So He sends an angel to kill Balaam as he is on his way to curse Israel. Fortunately Balaam's ass is smarter than his owner. And has better vision too. The donkey sees the angel in the path and turns away into a field. Balaam sees no angel, so he rebukes the donkey for being a dumb ass, and the donkey gets back on the road. Next, the angel stands in the path at a point where there are walls on both sides. The donkey again turns away, smashing Balaam into the wall in the process. And again, Balaam beats the donkey and gets her going again. Finally, then angel stands in a narrow path where there is no avoiding him. This time the donkey just falls down, refusing to face the angel. Now Balaam is really mad. He wishes for a sword so he can execute the donkey for her stubbornness, That'll teach her. But now something altogether unexpected happens (if its not unexpected to you, you might be desensitized to the amazing stories of the Bible). The donkey talks. And, only slightly less amazing, Balaam responds. Like this was an everyday occurrence. As though he and the donkey had been singing show tunes and arguing about which regions of Moab have the best night life for the past 20 miles. Balaam is so angry he doesn't have the bandwidth leftover to process that his ass just spoke to him, he just fires right back. I don't know what kind of sense of humor you have, but I think this is hilarious. The donkey tries to explain that he's just trying to help, but it takes the Lord opening Balaam's eyes and Balaam seeing the angel with the sword before his anger melts into tears of repentance.
I love this story because sometimes I'm the donkey. I see people heading toward danger and I try to warn them and all I get in return is the modern day version of Balaam's abuse, "Stop judging me".
Also, I hate this story because sometimes I am Balaam. I'm on the wrong path and can't see it. Someone tries to warn me and I get defensive, offer excuses and try to justify my choices.
From both sides it brings to mind this wisdom from the wise younger (half)brother of Jesus: "My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: whoever turns a sinner from the error of his ways will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins." James 5:21-22
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